Friday, 8 August 2014

5 Things I've Learnt From My 1st Year Of Marriage

At the time of posting this, it’s been a whole year I’ve been married. What an adventure it’s been! Here’s 5 things I’ve learned in my 1st year of marriage:

 1) My Wife Is Not A Mutant
Jean Gray (of the X-Men)
Early on in our marriage, I realised there were moments I was treating my wife like Jean Gray of the X-Men. I was treating her like a telepath – someone who could read minds. I’m naturally a thinker. I can have a million conversations with myself in my head in a day. Then I would expect Jenaé to act in accordance with a decision I’d made non-verbally. But if you don’t open your mouth to speak what’s on your mind, guess what? – only Jean Gray (and Professor X!) can read your mind. Communicate communicate communicate!


2) Make Time For Love
My wife and I are huge Fred Hammond fans. One of our favourite songs of his is a bittersweet one called Make Time For Love (off his Somethin’ ‘Bout Love album). It’s a beautiful song about maintaining relationships. It’s bittersweet because Fred wrote this coming out of a divorce. He wrote from a place of ‘this is what would have helped us not break up’. Life gets very busy and there can be a tendency to stop dating and being romantic after getting married. I’ve learnt to be mindful of this and…make time for love!



3) Prayer Is Key!
Prayer is always something I’ve wished I could do more of. I’m still getting there, but I can say that since marrying, I pray a lot more…and a lot more sincerely at that. This is for no other reason than the fact that I NEED to! I don’t have any past experience being a grown, married man…so I have nothing else to fall back on except the power of God to do this right! A year into this journey, I’ve come to know that there’s a lot I don’t know. Talking fervently with Jesus daily keeps me topped up with the power and wisdom I need to not mess up!   


4) Logic + Emotions (Not Either Or…)
Men generally lean towards logic. Women generally lean towards emotions. Generally. Neither is bad, but it can be if that’s all that’s in the mix. The sum is definitely greater than the parts. Don’t just ‘talk at’ your partner spewing out facts and well reasoned arguments. Be mindful of how your tone is sounding and really check your inner motives. Sometimes, you can be ‘right’ in an argument, but totally ‘wrong’ in how you’re coming across.

Live long & prosper!
Disclaimer – as a man who generally leans towards logic, this does not always mean you are right!


5) So They Were Right About Our Wedding Video...
I was blessed to have some close friends in the video production industry film our wedding. To save spending money we didn’t have (and to put my own personal touch on things), I took all the raw footage to edit myself. After all, professional video editor was one of the notches on my belt and I had edited several wedding videos in the past. Some friends advised me against doing this though. They said, I would struggle to find the time to do this once the day was done.

A screenshot of my hard drive with the wedding footage.
This folder has not been opened for about 10 months!
They were right! A year later and that footage is still sitting on my hard drive. We’ve watched through the raw footage…but no editing whatsoever has taken place. It really was shot well and it will make an epic wedding video one day! But for now, in between the busyness of work, the Mr. K dream and life in general, I’ll have to settle for the finished video I can see in my head!

Happy anniversary babe!


Peace, Love & Spoken Word Finger Clicks!

Mr. K  

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